We have been in Australia for some time now so we are well placed to make a few observations about the culture of this great country. Indeed, we have taken this part of our reportage so seriously we engaged in extensive pre-travel research at Tesco’s South Queensferry Australian wine shelf.
There is a popular misconception that Australians wander around singing operatic arias all day. This stems from the iconic status of Sydney’s truly beautiful Opera House. Believe me, most Aussies can’t sing for toffee – particularly the man in the room next door.
One of the great Australian pastimes is having a ‘barbie’. You can find these structures all over the land and they are free to use (just turn on the electric or gas and away you go). Here you see a fair sized Golden Snapper (stuffed with coriander & parsley) gently baking to go with tatties and a nice green salad on the side. Apologies for the fuzzy image – Sian was experimenting with taking pictures whilst holding a glass of chilled chardonnay and the camera in the same hand.
You may find it interesting to compare how this is done in Scotland. For a start it’s not 32C and it’s not tropical sunshine - no - it’s bloody raining again. That’s what led me to invent the Brady Barbrella (patent pending).
Australian men are sports daft. However, they can become a little confused. They all hate the Poms (fair enough), but - then - every Sunday afternoon they pretend they are English. All togged out in white (as if they are medical orderlies) they set about playing the cricket. As if that wasn’t shameful enough they also play at the rugga.
This behaviour is all the more mysterious as they have a perfectly good sport of their own. And it better suits the Aussie character. It’s called AFL or Australian football. The aim of the game is unclear. With about 28 players a side charging about, they have no boundaries, the playing zone is as much grass as the stadium has and they get to thump, kick and throw the ball in any direction (disputes are settled by a punch in the face). But they enjoy it like hell (so do the Sheilas on account of the scanty tight fitting strip).
I met the Hawthorn Hawks top kicker and their coach at a recent sporting event. They gave me a signed stubbie holder (more Aussie culture). I’m a Hawks fan for life – maybe the only one in Scotland.
Finally, the Australian sense of humour. The sign below is a warning about jelly fish that kill you – no ifs or buts – get stung and you are dead. Notwithstanding, this dire warning, they assume you will ignore it and when you dash out of the sea in agony they suggest you cover yourself in the vinegar provided before you lie down and die smelling like a fish supper.
