Victoria 1: The Great Ocean Road.

We arrived at Melbourne airport in 29C of heat. Phew.

It was getting dark so we had to dash to Geelong in our free upgraded sporty car (strong approval from Danger-Woman).

Checking into our motel involved shining my main beam car headlight into a dark passageway so that essential information could be exchanged between the proprietor and I over a small phone nailed to the wall. I will spare you the details save to say I was well ready for the merest moothfie by the time I made it to our room.

Following a hearty breakfast (Australians have yet to discover ‘portion control’) we took the easy way out and posed with some of the wooden statues that occupy the rather sophisticated waterfront (nice tip Derek).

We had sunshine to watch trainee surfers in Torquay at the start of the Great Ocean Road. Where we also discovered the irritating Australian fly – sluggish - easy to kill – but endless supply.

On our way down the weather turned foul. But this made the seascape even more spectacular – huge waves crashing onto beaches and rock formations.

We stayed the night at Apollo Bay. Next morning, we woke up to a vehicle that would not start - somebody had broken into the car and switched the parking lights on so as to drain the battery. Strange things these Aussies do.

Several pies later we arrived at the Otway Tree Top Fly Walk. Warning – the faint hearted should stop reading this episode now. Not content with running up the wobbly Tower of Terror – Danger-Woman decided that abseiling down the world’s tallest tree was the very thing.

We stayed the night at Port Campbell just after we went to the twelve apostles (originally called the Sow & Piglets) on a glorious sunny evening.

And this is an amazing formation called the grotto.

Finally, Danger-Woman prepares her toes for the Melbourne Cup. I dread to think what they will make of mine at the toe inspection point on the way into the races.